When I have work related questions, I turn to my older sister, Alys. Alys is a workplace problem solver and a natural-born leader, she is a living, breathing Pinterest — filled with fashion advice and inspiration.
One of my biggest struggles as a young professional was my lack of confidence. I let my colleagues walk all over me, and my mood was a direct reflection of how my superiors treated me. I didn’t know that saying ‘no’ in the workplace was an option. No one had told me that boundaries look like self love with their work boots on.
I remember calling Alys after a rough day at work, nearly in tears, “Alys, why is it always me that has to run for coffee? Why do I have to clean out the office’s storage room? Why do I have to hold the door open for others after the team meeting?” I asked.
My sister didn’t have an answer for me at first. But a few days later she called,
“Emma, stop holding the door.”
Joe, the limo driver from The Princess Diaries once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Technically Eleanor Roosevelt said it first, but I always picture Joe, the limo driver saying it, so he gets my credit.) And he’s right, it finally clicked, I was being taken advantage of because I allowed them to do so. Nothing was going to change unless I found the power in myself to speak up or step away.
Now, let me make one thing clear: There are certain things about being a young professional that require some grunt work — organizing the storage closet full of promotional items was one of my grunt jobs. But nowhere in my job description did it say, ‘hold open door for colleagues,’ or, ‘provide water pitcher for meetings.’
Unfortunately, once I had established myself as the one who could be walked all over, my colleagues began to expect it from me. Then, I’d watch for signs that I was being taken advantage of, and feel miserable but say nothing. And so the cycle continued.
So here is my advice to young professionals out there: Respect yourself enough to set boundaries. Do not let those who are superior in rank treat you as if you are inferior as a person. Your job title does not warrant being mistreated.
Stop holding the door.