Three Dragonflies

My mom has come back to me in many ways since her passing in 2017. She appeared as a duck following my son, making him laugh. I’ve seen her in my son’s teacher, soaking up a tender moment with him. She’s talked to me through my friends, giving advice that sounds like it came directly from her mouth. And I’ve seen her in my dreams as a younger version of herself, doing something she would’ve been afraid to do in this lifetime. No matter how she appears, she always feels like my mom. Warm, maternal, and nostalgic. I know with unwavering certainty it’s her. 

In August 2024 my dad remarried. I am thrilled for him and his new wife and so glad that they’ve found each other. They make each other really happy and I love seeing my dad happy. Still, a part of me felt sad that day. I missed my mom. A part of me feels like when I see him I should still be able to see her. I avoided the dance floor and planted myself in a chair outside of the reception where I could watch my son play with his cousins. Toward the end of the night my husband pulled me onto the dance floor and our four-year-old joined us. We danced, lights twinkling above us, and I looked up. A dragonfly?! Warm, maternal, nostalgic. It was my mom. 

I believe in signs. I believe that if I’m unsure about something or am looking for confirmation, that the Universe, or God will place signs in my path. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that seeing the dragonfly at my dad’s wedding was a sign. It felt like a warm reminder that all is well. That night while meditating before bed I asked my mom if the dragonfly was her. The answer felt clear. Still, I asked her to send me three more dragonflies the next day as I slipped off to sleep. 

We kicked off our morning at the Museum of Nature and Science. My parents were members when I was a child and I walked those halls with them more times than I can count. It was a joy showing my son and husband around. As we walked through the Prehistoric Journey exhibit my son pressed a button, illuminating one figurine on the wall. “A dragonfly!” He shouted. Confirmation number one.

That afternoon we went to Lakeside Amusement Park. We were watching our son on one of the rides when a dragonfly landed on the fence, right next to our hands. “Dragonfly number two,” I beamed. 

As the sun lowered in the sky we hopped aboard Lakeside’s train. We went to Lakeside at least twice a summer when we lived in Colorado and riding the train is a tradition. After we boarded, I looked to my right and saw dozens of dragonflies. I laughed, feeling my mom’s sense of humor. It was as if she were to say, “Need more proof, Baby Girl?”

I believe my mom was with me at my dad’s wedding and that she is with me everyday. It’s been seven really sad years. This year I feel more at peace. I’m like, super annoyed that she died and really wish she didn’t. But overall at peace. Still, I watch for signs of her all around me and express gratitude when she is loud enough for me to witness. I will forever hold these signs and synchronicities close to my heart, as a symbolic scrapbook of moments when she came back to be Grandma Sandy once again.